He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
