i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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