what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
