That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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