Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
