Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
