and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
