fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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