I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we're so committed to being not committed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
