i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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