Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
