Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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