im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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