ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize