walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I smell stomach acid.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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