And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize