i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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