So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
