I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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