I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
His nipple licking is glorious
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