once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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