True but thats because hes a fetus.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
