I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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