We won't sleep together?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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