my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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