apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
