yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
