so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
