How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
