why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
