My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
