Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
