Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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