Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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