her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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