the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
