Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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