his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
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