so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
