Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize