so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
