the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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