So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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