you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
