When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
