You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I need a burrito and a hug.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
