I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
