don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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