Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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