I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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