His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
