I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
