I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
