I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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