She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
