her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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