3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
