weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
