btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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