if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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