yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
