think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This girl is more easily done than said...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
