The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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