There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
