I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
