I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
