they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize