Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
