I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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