is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
