We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
