i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
