I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
